Hate mail

I've been delegated to do the merry task to telling my coworkers to stop what they are doing to write down a list of what they are doing and then collect these lists, compile them into one big list, and give them to our director, who never reads them. Every Friday, I send out an email, reminding people to do these lists. Here are some of the responses I've gotten in the last month or so:

“Oh god.”

“Crap.”

“Balls.”

“No. and how come procurement doesn’t have to?!!!”

“You’re a big suckfest. “

“Boo.”

“No. Absolutely not.”

“Ugh, I was gonna send you a snotty reply but you brought me brain coral…I just spoke with the brain coral, and it too does not like pending lists.”

“You disgust me.”

“I’d like to see your pending list one of these days.”

“Pending List + Kat = Kat Vomiting and giving Jess dirty looks”

“Please, I have this in the bag…you’re a pending list geisha.”

“Dear Ms. T----,
Thank you for your diligence in collecting pending lists from the members of the Cost Proposal Unit at ----------------, Inc. I appreciate your understanding of my usual tardiness in providing the fully completed form. I hope that this early submission and congenial email will fall favorably upon you this Friday afternoon.”

“Can you add P. to your pending list email? I’d say thank you but we both know I’m not”

“This is crazy, I googled your name and it brought up an entry on dictionary.com:
Jessica [Jess-ih-cuh]: A Senior Program Assistant determined to make her co-workers lives hell. She is considered by many to be worse than the scum found at the bottom of a toxic garbage barrel that has seen all manner of hazardous waste tossed into it.
Also: an extinct bird. Sorry.”

“gah.it gets me every Friday even though I know it's coming...”

GUYS. I HAVE TO DO ONE TOO. AND COLLECT ALL OF YOURS! But thanks for making the process more entertaining.