good morning, jessica

This morning, I put on pants I haven’t worn for a month because they’ve been at the dry cleaners and they are tight. Not tight as in hella cool either. Tight as in tight. I mostly blame my department director for this because she has been force feeding us scones and bagels and Reese’s peanut butter cups lately. Sitting in my cubicle getting fatter by the minute I feel like veal. I guess it doesn’t help that I’ve been putting Nutella on my toast in the morning. SPEAKING of which, I realized JUST before getting to work, after I had already been on public transportation for an hour (i.e. out in PUBLIC) that I had a spot of Nutella on my face. Maybe my potential future husband passed me today and thought “wow, she’s gross” and now I will surely die alone. Also, what do I have to do not to have someone sit next to me on the train? Suggestions? I’m thinking I will start muttering to myself. Maybe thrash about a little. Ok. Work time.