Thanks, family.

My friend Amy is in NYC today visiting family. I just got the following chat from her:
"I'm being attacked by my family right now. My aunt and cousins are up from georgia. My aunt is like 'Amy, you're SO old, how are you not married now?' and 'Amy, if you don't have babies soon, they're gonna have down syndrome' "

HAHA. Awesome.

Ho-dom.

J: I think the dress I am thinking of wearing might be too short
A: Lol its ok I'm wearing a low cut one.
J: Should I wear leggings?
A: No don't. There are girls at work who wear shorter things.
J: And so begins my decline into ho-dom.
A: Population: 2

To the French woman, with love.

So I work with this French woman, and one time in the kitchen, while we were both getting coffee we parléd a little Français. Or for my part, I made a terrible attempt at it. The thing is, I was already scared of this woman because she’s that strong and silent type that gives NOTHING away about what she thinks about you, and I personally am way too insecure for that sort of nonsense. So anyway, I’m nervous and as a result my French was pretty bad. To cover for myself, I try to say “I don’t speak French as well as I would like these days” but instead I said something like “I speak not as soon as French as I would like recently.” The thing is, my French is actually good enough where I cringe as the words come out because I know they are wrong. Instead of correcting myself though, I stare at her, and instead of asking me to repeat myself, or joking with me that ‘hey wow your French IS bad!” she smiles politely and walks out of the kitchen leaving me mortified and beginning several months now wherein I feel like I need to avoid her because of my shame.

We were both walking from the parking lot together this morning, for example, and I sent imaginary text messages as I walked 30 feet behind her until we got to the building and she let me in with her key.

Anyway.

I guess I just hope that one day, she reads my blog for some crazy reason because this is for her: “Je ne parle pas Français aussi bien que je voudrais.”

Stress child

I found my Lisa Frank stationary when I was home recently. This is a letter I wrote to Hannah but never sent. Not that this is any reflection of my being a guilty, anxious little person, but the entire thing is me apologizing for not writing sooner. I’m really sorry, Hannah. Fourth grade was just a really busy year for me. You understand, right? I’m sorry.

Self Sabotage

Have you ever made the security questions on an online account too hard to answer? They’re about MY life and I just got locked out of my own account because I COULDN’T ANSWER THEM. One of them was “What is the name of your first pet?” and I got it WRONG because I was like “Well I mean technically it was that puppy my parents got for me when I was 2… but then really, they had a dog already when I was born so was that dog my pet? I mean really… I was more ITS pet because it was around first and I didn’t take care of it… but then if you are qualifying ‘pet’ by who takes care of it, maybe my first pet was that cat I got when I was 8… What was I thinking when I wrote this question?!”