My subconscious hates me.

Ew. I dreamed that I was making out with country music star, Toby Keith. My subconscious hates me.

Serious question

On the expression, “I’d tap that” : Can a girl say it or does the verb ‘to tap’ necessitate boy parts?

Yeah, I thought about going to the gym this morning...

For the low level at which my brain functions around 6a.m., I sure can think of some clever reasons not to get up and go to the gym.

I think the winner this morning was that if I got up and went to the gym at such a ridiculous hour I would be unhappy because I was tired and then I would associate negative feelings with exercise and then one day all that negative emotion will cause me to snap and I will refuse all physical activity including walking and so I'll stay in my bed all day long and eat and then they will have to get me out of my house with a crane because I will weigh 1,000 pounds.

These were my thoughts at 6:00. I did not go to the gym.

Proactivity

And while she knew that this too would probably pass, she thought she might help it along with large amounts of chocolate and wine.

pumpkin spice soy latte

Just when I thought I had run out of bad ideas for the week, I went and ordered a pumpkin spice latte with soy milk.

And while yes, I admit responsibility for this senseless act and accept the consequences- that my mouth will taste like a belly button for the next 3 hours- I am just a little bit angry with the Starbucks barista for letting me order it. Baristas, when a customer asks you for pumpkin spice latte with soy milk, the correct response is "No."