introvert

"How can you stay outside? There's a beautiful mess inside." Yael Naim, Far Far Away

Sister Cat by Frances Mayes

Cat stands at the fridge,
Cries loudly for milk.
But I've filled her bowl.
Wild cat, I say, Sister,
Look, you have milk.
I clink my fingernail
Against the rim. Milk.
With down and liver,
A word I know she hears.
Her sad miaow. She runs
To me. She dips
In her whiskers but
Doesn't drink. As sometimes
I want the light on
When it is on. Or when
I saw the woman walking
toward my house and
I thought there's Frances.
Then looked in the car mirror
To be sure. She stalks
The room. She wants. Milk
Beyond milk. World beyond
This one, she cries.

On being alone...

I thought this was great:
"When I get lonely these days, I think: So be lonely, Liz. Learn your way around loneliness. Make a map of it. Sit with it, for once in your life. Welcome to the human experience. But never again use another person's body or emotions as a scratching post for your own unfulfilled yearnings." -Elizabeth Gilbert, Eat Pray Love

don't remind me

Hyperventilating. Thank you MSH for the helpful meeting about managing my finances and saving for retirement. Oh, put away that much each month you say? Could someone please tell me what my soul is worth and does SalliMae accept it as legal tender?

3 weeks in

Have I mentioned how toally intimidating the people here are?
I have to fill out some bio information on myself and was given an example to look at of the bios from the department next door. With the exception of one person they all speak 3 to 5 languages. THREE TO FIVE.

Also, I played bocce ball at lunch with my coworkers. I think I very nearly have friends here. AND it turns out that I'm kind of a savant at bocce. Who knew?

bad mood

I'm afraid my soul may be allergic to filing. Also I am currently printing a 213-page document in color because the director of the department can't find the one that I ALREADY PRINTED for her on Friday. I just spent a redwood tree on a document that will probably be out of date next week.

ALSO it took me 2 HOURS to get to work today! Where do all these people need be that is so EFFING important?! PLEASE TELL ME because they were alll in may way this morning! Ok. Yes. I should have left earlier.

Oh I am in a foul mood today.